Baby Bear
by AutumnBelle
Summary: A story about Jake, the youngest Ely brother, and Kit, the oldest.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the Phantom Stallion series.

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Jake knew that one day his eavesdropping would get him into trouble – he knew that it wasn't something grown-ups approved of. But he couldn't help it. How else was he supposed to know what was going on? No one told him anything.

Kit and Dad were in the tack room, and Jake could hear their voices talking lowly but forcefully.

Jake just hoped that Quinn wasn't spying on him. Quinn would tell on him in a minute if he found out Jake was listening in on one of Dad's conversations. Kit probably would just smile at him, depending on the type of conversation he was having, and tell him that men respect other men's privacy.

But as Jake sneaked his way down the hallway and into an empty stall, it was clear that Quinn was nowhere to be found.

"I'll be fine, Dad. I've lived around here long enough to know what to do if a cougar attacks or if there's a flash flood. The whole point of this is to have an adult learning experience."

Jake ruffled his brows in confusion. Why would Kit be near cougars on purpose?

Jake, although he was already tiny and probably wouldn't be seen even if his dad and brother did walk out of the tack room, sat down in the stall and put his hat down low on his face. That way, if he did get caught he could pretend to be sleeping. After all, he could play the card that he didn't know any better and had a tiresome day.

"I know, son. But your grandfather can sometimes go overboard. It would just make us all more comfortable if you would call us half way through the week, just to confirm that you're okay."

Jake was starting to become upset. Kit couldn't go away! He was supposed to give Jake a formal roping lesson next week. Sure, Jake had the basic idea and movements down pat from observing the rest of his family and practicing it, but Kit was a master.

The way they were talking – about cougars and flash floods – what if Kit never came back? He was the only one of Jake's brothers who didn't mercilessly tease him. He was the only one who actually listened to Jake when he talked. Except for Mom, of course, but she didn't count. Jake, in his opinion, needed man-to-man conversations.

Kit sighed heavily. "How about this? I'll contact grandfather once during the middle of the week. I need to take this getting away and spiritual walk seriously. If I talk to you guys, it's not the same."

Jake stood up in excitement at Kit's words. Spiritual walk? That sounded awesome!

Being as quiet as an eight-year-old kid could be, Jake hurried down the barn and out towards the house.

He had to convince Kit to let him come along.

On his way to the house, Jake spotted his brothers Nate and Adam messing with the family's old blue truck.

Nate was in the driver's seat, even though he was barely fifteen, and Adam was laughing in the passenger's side. Jake wanted to go over there and see exactly what they were doing, especially since he knew that Nate would be able to get a learner's permit soon. However, Jake also knew that his brothers were already in the joshing mood and didn't feel like having his spirits ruined.

Jake kicked off his boots quickly, letting them lay astray near the front door, and threw his hat on a chair.

"Hi, honey! I heard you had a big day today!"

Mom was cooking dinner, wearing an apron and a huge smile on her face. Normally, Jake would have jumped at the chance to brag about his day to his mom, but today, he needed to plan. He could tell her how Dad had let him hold his rifle and shoot at rabbits, but right now Jake was more concerned with this spiritual walk of Kit's.

"Yeah," said Jake, trying to make a run for it up the stairs. But Mom wasn't having it.

She grabbed him by the waist and held him against her. Jake almost whined, but realized that one of his brothers was probably lurking around, and it was bad enough that Mom had him trapped.

"Jake Ely, you're going to tell me about it!" Mom tickled his sides until he laughed, even though he had been trying hard not to.

"Fine! Dad let me shoot the Winchester at a rabbit. I missed, but it was close. He said I did good for the first time!" Jake, although still a bit annoyed, felt his face light up in excitement.

Mom smiled. "You like it better than fishing?"

Jake scowled. It wasn't that he hated fishing, but he'd had a bad experience with gutting a fish last time. He'd thrown up all over the boat, and Quinn still wouldn't let him forget it.

"Yep!" He leapt up the stairs, playing his own little game to see how fast he could go. Mom had no chance of catching him.

Jake sped to his room, which he shared with Nate and Bryan. Bryan was lying down on the top bunk, looking depressed.

Jake tried his best to ignore him as he sat down on his own bed, the bottom bunk, but Bryan wasn't having it.

"Did you hear about this spiritual walk?"

Jake froze. He tried not to look disappointed, but he probably did. Of course everyone else already knew about it.

Jake nodded, laying down in his bed and facing the wall. Bryan didn't need to see his face.

Bryan leaned over his bunk to peer at Jake's back anyway.

"Well they won't let me go! I don't understand why!"

Jake sighed. If Bryan couldn't go and he was eleven, then there was no way Jake would be able to go. There went his excitement.

Jake rolled over to look at his brother. He thought about what he'd overheard.

"I heard Kit say that he wasn't supposed to talk to anyone. Maybe that's why."

Bryan blinked. "That's stupid," he said, and then rolled over on his own bunk, no longer in Jake's sight.

"What exactly is a spiritual walk, anyway?" Jake asked tentatively.

"Kit's gonna live off the land by himself for a whole week. Grandfather says it's supposed to make him an adult."

Jake didn't reply. Instead, he was thinking about how cool that sounded. Kit had to be a really smart guy to know how to live all alone out there by himself for a whole week.

"He was supposed to teach me how to rope next week," Jake said, sounding despondent.

"It's not like he's going away forever, stupid. Besides, there are plenty of us here that know how to rope. It's not like it's important that you learn right away."

Jake bit his tongue from snapping at his brother. That was the problem with living here. There were already so many boys in the family that by the time everyone got to Jake, it didn't matter. He wasn't important. And when people did pay attention to him, it was just to tell him how adorable he was and baby him. If there was one thing he'd learned from his father and brothers, it was that you were supposed to do things on your own, not have other people do them for you. Well how could he when no one trusted him to do anything?

Jake almost wished he were at River Bend with Sam. At least he knew more than she did.

But then he thought about how much she'd cried when she fell off her pony, and remembered how annoying she was.

Jake and Bryan laid in their beds, both silently brooding, until Nate barged in the room.

"Mom says dinner is ready. Wash your hands."

Bryan jumped off his bunk just as Jake was trying to stand up, and he narrowly escaped the planned attack. Bryan laughed and raced toward the bathroom ahead of him.

Jake decided to use the kitchen sink instead, and made his way downstairs slowly.

Kit and Dad were already sitting at the table, and Nate and Quinn were arguing over who would get the last can of Coke.

When Jake sat down next to Kit, almost hesitantly, he refused to look at him. How could Kit just cancel their roping lesson without telling him? It was so unfair. Jake had been looking forward to it since they'd planned it two days ago. Kit could do things with a rope that most cowboys probably couldn't.

In return, Jake decided to pretend that he didn't know anything about the spiritual walk. If Kit wanted to keep secrets, so would Jake.

Within fifteen seconds of the food being laid on the table, all of the boys were eagerly digging in. Jake looked at the food in silence. He decided to just go for what was closest to him and pretend like he didn't want mashed potatoes and gravy, which was the furthest.

Usually, whoever was sitting next to Jake, which was commonly Mom or Kit, would get some of the helpings for him since he was much smaller than most of them and would really have to fight to get to them.

Jake was cutting his chicken silently when he felt a nudge on his arm.

Kit was smiling at him, holding the bowl of mashed potatoes in one hand and fending off Adam with the other.

"Don't you want any, Baby Bear?"

Kit didn't look at him any different. His brother still wore the same large grin and spoke with a confident deep voice.

Jake shook his head and tried to return to his plate in silence.

Kit gave him some anyway. "What happened?"

Kit's voice was quiet so no one else could hear him, and Jake felt more confused than ever. Why would Kit still pretend like they were the best of friends and yet he still hadn't formally told Jake about his trip or about canceling their lessons? Maybe the lessons weren't as formal as Jake had thought they would be . . .

Jake shrugged and decided he was acting like a big baby.

"Nothing. Just not hungry."

Kit gave him a small smile, and Jake could tell his brother wasn't buying that excuse.

"Keep your secrets, little man."

Jake felt his face heating up in anger. Kit's words had only reminded him of how no one told him Kit was going away. But Jake knew what Dad would do in this situation, and that was to bite his words and get over it. So Jake sat silent.

He only looked up once because he felt eyes staring at him, and saw Dad silently watching him. Jake averted his gaze quickly, knowing that Dad had probably already figured out what was happening. Dad was good at that – knowing his sons so well that he knew their actions before anyone had actually told him.

"Listen up!" Mom shouted. Everyone immediately quieted down. As the only female in the house, she knew how to keep track of them.

"Most of you already know, but we're going to have a formal conversation about Kit's spiritual walk."

Jake looked up at Mom and refused to look anywhere else.

Kit cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the way in which she'd quieted everyone down just to listen to him speak.

"I'll be living off the land for one week, starting this Sunday. Grandfather says it's our transition into adulthood, and every Shoshone man should go through one. Since I'm seventeen and about to graduate, he's decided it's time I do mine."

A few of his brothers started whispering – mainly Bryan to Nate – but the others looked at Kit with excitement.

"So, you're going to have to kill rabbits and squirrels and eat them?" Quinn asked.

Kit winced. "For part of it. I have to fast for half of it too. Grandfather says this is supposed to be a challenge that opens my eyes to the world. So I have to do it the right way."

Jake had tons of questions. Was Kit just going to be sitting around all day and doing nothing, or did he have a specific duty? Was he taking a horse with him? What supplies was he allowed to take?

Thankfully, the rest of his brothers asked the questions for him. No, Kit wouldn't have a horse because he'd have to feed it and they didn't want him worrying about more than one mouth if he didn't have to. He would be meditating on life apparently. The entire experience was meant to help him do that, although Jake didn't really understand any of it. He would be allowed one backpack, filled with jerky (just in case) and bottled water (the natural water couldn't be trusted). He would have to sleep on the bare ground.

To Jake, it sounded like a boring camping trip. But his family said it was going to be challenging, so Jake assumed he just didn't understand.

When everyone started walking around, putting their dishes in the sink, and some wandering into the living room to go watch TV, Jake climbed up the stairs silently, hoping that no one would notice him.

Jake showered and got ready for bed as slowly as possible, because for once his brothers weren't knocking on the door and telling him they needed the bathroom.

When he was in his pajamas, under his covers and drifting off to sleep, the door opened.

Jake, in an almost dreamlike state, didn't realize it until there was a soft pressure of someone sitting down on his bed.

Looking up dazedly, Jake saw Kit looking down at him.

"You feeling okay?" Kit asked.

Jake wanted to tell Kit that he was upset. He wanted to beg Kit to stay and teach him to rope, or beg him to let him come along. But Jake knew the answer to both questions would be "No", and he didn't want to get overly upset in front of his oldest brother.

"Fine," said Jake, his voice softer than it usually was. Kit motioned for him to scoot over on the small bed, and he lay down next to Jake.

It was a tight fit, considering the bed was small anyway and Kit was a large person, but Jake didn't mind.

"You want to come along, don't you?" Kit asked as he looked at the bottom of the bunk above them instead of at Jake.

Jake didn't need to answer. Kit already knew that was the problem.

They were both silent for a while. Jake wondered why Kit was still in his room if he wasn't going to say anything.

"This summer, when we're all out of school, we'll go on a camping trip to the tribal lands. I promise. It'll be fun, Jake. There are a bunch of wild horses roaming about, and some of them are friendlier than those out on the range."

Jake felt his spirits lifting, thinking about the wild horses. Kit always knew what to say to make him feel better.

"What about roping?" Jake asked quietly.

Kit turned his head to look at his little brother. It was dark, but Jake could see his eyes clearly. Kit had clearly forgotten their plan.

"I'm sorry, Baby Bear," said Kit, "But don't worry about it, okay? You're still young, you'll learn soon. Maybe when I get back, if we both have enough time once school starts again."

They were on a spring break currently, and whenever they went back to school all of them had multiple responsibilities that made it hard to plan around. Kit volunteered with the fire department, and he was also trying to look around for colleges this upcoming fall.

Jake nodded, but he still wanted to learn how to rope right now. What kind of cowboy couldn't rope?

"Hey," Kit said, ruffling his hair as he stood from the bed, "you'll be a great roper one day. It's in your blood."

But Jake was also thinking about what Sam's dad had said to him – that once Jake became more experienced with ranching he might let him help out sometimes. Jake would probably not get that chance at Three Ponies for many years, considering he already had so many older brothers who were capable.

"Mr. Forster said that if I learn, I can help him sometimes," Jake said, the excited, boy-like tone back to his voice.

Kit smiled a true smile. "Even if it means having a little mosquito following you around the whole time?"

Jake scowled. Kit usually refrained from teasing him about Sam – the little girl who lived on the neighboring ranch whose favorite pastime was to follow Jake around.

Kit gave a loud laugh at the look on Jake's face.

"Mosquito's only follow horses around because they want their blood, Mustang."

Jake gave him a weird look. "You mean she wants to drink my blood?"

Kit chuckled. "No, Jake. I just mean that you two are friends and go well together. She only follows you because she looks up to you. Remember that."

Jake sighed. "Whatever."

Kit pointed a finger at him. "Don't give me that, young man."

Jake started giggling even before Kit was coming towards him. They ended up on the floor, Jake trying with all his strength to pin Kit down. Even though Kit was stronger and could instantly win, he let Jake struggle but still refused to be beaten himself.

They fought playfully until Bryan reappeared, and then Nate. Four of them rolling around on the floor together brought it to the attention of their parents, who wanted their house to stay relatively undamaged.

"You know better," Dad joked, ushering Kit out of the room. Kit smiled and shrugged, unconcerned.

Jake went to sleep that night, thinking happy thoughts about that summer's camping trip and his possible roping lessons from one of the best roper's around – his brother.

But time would tell a different story.

Because shortly after Kit returned from the spiritual walk, he retreated into himself and rarely spoke when around his parents. He was constantly cranky and didn't feel like playing around anymore. When he did call Jake Baby Bear, which Jake enjoyed immensely because none of his other brothers had a special nickname, it was usually out of frustration and not affection.

Right after Kit graduated high school, he woke them all up at four in the morning to say his goodbyes, to the dismay of his parents.

Jake watched his favorite brother walk away, choosing an unknown life over his family. He was just a child; Jake didn't understand why Kit had broken his promises and he didn't like it.

For the next four years, the only time Jake saw his big brother was on a television screen, where he was an unfamiliar face giving odd interviews in the rodeo circuit.

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AN: Hi! I wanted to write this story because I find both Jake and Kit interesting characters. There will probably be three chapters. One when Jake is little, one when Kit visits when Jake is eleven, and one that covers their interactions in the final book. Thank you for reading and please review :)


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Jake got home, he was tired and dirty. All he wanted to do was shower and then go to sleep.

He had been helping Sam all day with her new colt, Blackie. There was no way she'd be able to ride him any time soon, but they were doing their best to try and gain his trust early on. After Jake finished with Sam, he stayed to help Wyatt repair a couple fences. By the time Jake headed for home, he actually felt almost like an adult, making his way home from work.

But as he rode closer to Three Ponies and his house came into view, he knew immediately that something was different.

Everything looked too quiet. No one was wandering around outside, and both Mom and Dad's cars were in the drive. It was around five in the evening, but Jake knew that Dad's mine shift should have kept him there longer.

Jake had borrowed Nate's horse, Digger, for the day, and he turned him out to the pasture before he made his way into the barn. Jake was expecting to be scolded for staying over at River Bend too long and neglecting his chores, but there was no one there to criticize him.

Jake knew better than to avoid chores, but he started getting an uneasy feeling when he realized something might be wrong.

Jake peaked in the tack room for a second, just to make sure no one was inside, and stopped when he saw what was sitting on the table.

A saddle sat in clear view, one that he was sure he'd ever seen before. It wasn't new, but it was definitely fancier than any he knew they owned at Three Ponies. His heart skipped a beat when he put the pieces together. Dad was home early. No one was outside. A strange saddle.

Kit must be home.

Jake was already really tired, but this new realization just made him feel even more lethargic. It had been four years since any of them had really spoken to Kit. He called home on holidays, but even then he mostly just talked to Mom and Dad. They definitely hadn't seen him since that warm summer's morning when he'd abruptly left.

Of course, Jake might be reading the signs wrong, but he just had a feeling that he was right.

He cautiously made his way to the house, both hoping and dreading that Kit might actually be home.

Jake heard talking before he even got onto the porch.

"You can ride out with us tomorrow. I bet you've missed it," Jake heard Nate say.

"No! He can't, Nate. He needs to rest," said Mom.

Jake didn't want to interrupt their conversation, both because he wanted to hear it and because it would be awkward if he just barged in.

"Mom, it's really not that bad. The hospital wouldn't have released me if it was," Kit spoke, and Jake got final conformation that his brother was indeed visiting.

Jake heard pans banging together. He could picture the scene – the family sitting around the table watching Mom cook. He wondered if Kit looked any different, or if he acted any different. So much time away from home must have changed him.

"Kit, you're resting. A bruised tailbone isn't something to fool with. Riding isn't going to help at all."

Jake really didn't want to just walk in during the middle of things, but he was tired and hot and their conversation could last a while. He figured he should just get it over with.

With a deep breath, he opened the kitchen door. Mom jumped.

"Oh, Jake, you scared me!"

"Sorry, Mom."

There was an awkward silence. Jake noticed that only Dad, Nate, Mom, and Kit were in the kitchen. They all stared at him as he stood in the doorway, looking anywhere but their faces.

"Jake, you have blood all over your hands! What have you been doing?"

Jake looked down at his hands, which had gained scratches over the knuckles. They bled more than they hurt. He'd had a couple slip ups when he was helping Wyatt, and Sam's dad had made him promise to clean up before he left River Bend, but Jake had forgotten. It wasn't the first time it had happened, and it didn't hurt, so he didn't think anything of it.

Jake didn't answer Mom as she nudged him over to the sink.

"Dinner will be ready in a couple minutes. Clean up."

Jake did as she said, and without glancing up, made his way to the table.

"You're not going to say "Hi", Baby Bear?" Kit asked.

Jake reluctantly looked up at Kit. His brother looked older. His face more closely resembled Dad's than it had before, and his hair was cut shorter. The only thing that hadn't changed was his smile. It was bright and happy.

Jake shyly smiled back. "Hi."

Jake didn't offer any more words. And he didn't have to, because at that moment Bryan, Quinn, and Adam entered the kitchen from the living room. It became noisy and hectic. Jake listened to Kit tell stories from the rodeo, stories about places he'd been and people he'd met.

From the moment he thought Kit might be home, he'd been feeling off. Almost indifferent to it all, and it wasn't until he heard Kit's stories that he realized his true feelings.

Jake was mad.

Kit had just left without warning, and stayed away for years. Jake hadn't even got to talk to him after the first couple of weeks he'd been gone, when he called to see how everyone was doing. Kit had been his hero growing up – the brother that watched over him and taught him things when one else would. Then suddenly, Kit had chosen to go to the rodeo and be everyone else's hero. Like his family hadn't been good enough for him. Had Jake been older when Kit left, he might have taken it better. But to the eight-year-old boy who had been infatuated with his brother, it had hurt his feelings more than he'd ever let anyone know.

"He won't be able to ride at least until he's ready to leave."

Jake was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Mom speak. He looked up. Everyone was looking at Kit.

"What happened?" Adam asked.

Kit shrugged, trying his best to play it off as nothing. "Just a bruised tailbone. Happened in Reno, and I thought I'd come visit while I recover."

Jake's brows scrunched. Kit had been in a rodeo in Reno? He was positive the entire family would have gone to it, had they known.

"Yes, about that. We would have driven out there, Kit. You should have let us know."

Kit looked guilty. "It wasn't a big show, Mom. I wasn't going to be in these parts very long. I was signed up for a different rodeo in Arizona this week. I didn't want to upset you by leaving so soon."

The excuse fell flat to Jake, and it looked like it did with Mom too.

Instead of scolding him further, she turned away, her lips pursed.

Jake fleetingly wondered if Kit had gotten into an argument with their parents before he left for the rodeo in the first place. It would explain his long absence. But Jake couldn't imagine what would have upset them so much – unless they were strongly against Kit competing, which was possible.

The tension in the air was thick, and wasn't broken until Bryan asked Dad if he could borrow the truck for a couple days to go on a trip with his friends.

Dad sighed, and Jake knew he was about to get angry. Bryan wasn't even technically old enough to drive by himself.

Jake escaped from the kitchen before Bryan started begging.

The rest of the week was miserable for Jake. He did his best to ignore Kit, because he would ultimately be leaving again. That, and Jake felt weird around him now. He didn't know this Kit – the Kit that had been to multiple states and that had actual fans. His brother didn't act much different around the family, but Jake could still see a difference in his behavior.

When Kit lived at Three Ponies, he'd cared about the chores, about knowing what needed fixed or replaced. But the entire time he was visiting, Kit didn't ask one question about the ranch. Instead, all he did was talk about broncs and where he'd be going next.

The one time Jake actually had a decent conversation with Kit, he was alone in a corral trying to teach his new horse, Witch, who was boss.

Witch had been born a little over two years ago. She was the meanest horse Three Ponies had ever had, but the deal had been that Quinn would get one foal and Jake the other. When Chocolate Chip was born, Quinn had first dibs since he was older. So Jake had waited until Witch came along and then finally got a real horse of his own.

The catch came when she snapped at everyone and wouldn't let many people near her. At first, Jake had been heartbroken, thinking Dad would raise the filly on his own and then try to sell her. Then he would have to wait for another mare to be in foal to get a horse of his own.

But Jake had worked with her nonstop until she eventually started to accept him. Grandfather had been a huge help with getting Witch to accept Jake. He gave him old Shoshone techniques that seemed to bewitch the horses and obtain trust. It hadn't worked completely on the filly, but Jake was proud to say that he was the only one of his brothers that Witch would allow close to her. Dad could get close to Witch too, but he was also the best cowboy Jake knew, and he wouldn't take nonsense.

Jake was in his own little world that day, jogging Witch in tight figure eights, trying to get her to stop wanting to buck.

He slipped up once. He walked Witch too close to the fence for her liking, even though it actually wasn't very close at all, and she skidded to a stop suddenly without warning. Jake slid down backwards over her rump before he even realized what was happening.

The breath got knocked out of him as he landed, and since Witch had jogged to the other end of the corral and wasn't in the mood for humans, Jake took his time getting back up.

It didn't work out as he'd planned.

Jake, to his surprise, felt hands grasp under his arms and pull him to his feet.

"You okay?" Jake's blood froze as he heard the concerned voice of Kit behind him.

Jake's movements were jerky as he bent over and picked his hat up.

"Fine," he said tightly.

Kit sighed. Jake knew Kit had figured out how mad he was at him. He hadn't really talked to him at all in the past week, except for when he knew their parents were watching.

"You were doing good with her, Baby Bear. Just hold on tighter next time."

Jake felt his anger growing. No duh. Like he couldn't have figured that out for himself.

Jake, who wasn't in the mood for making small talk and didn't want to talk about the actual issue, walked away without another word or glance.

"Hey!" Kit said, and although he didn't sound mad, Jake could almost hear the hurt in his voice.

And then, probably figuring that it had worked in previous years, Kit lightly shoved Jake.

"Smile," Kit said, giving off a smile of his own and crouching as Jake turned around, expecting Jake to laugh and grapple with him.

Instead, in the heat of the moment and without actually thinking about it, Jake swung his fist out and hit Kit right in the face.

The impact wasn't enough to throw Kit off balance, but it did jerk his head back. Kit put his hand to his nose as blood started to flow.

"Hey!"

This time the voice did sound mad. And it also wasn't Kit's.

Jake felt himself shrink as he turned and saw Dad walking toward them angrily.

"Jacob! I have told you before not to throw fists," Dad began, his face mad and his finger pointing.

"Dad-" Kit started, his voice calm but muffled from behind his hand.

"Especially with Kit, young man. You know he's recovering. What if he'd fallen on his tailbone and injured it further?"

"Dad-" Kit tried to break through again, sounding more embarrassed.

Jake stood in silence, looking his father in the face.

"I want you to apologize right now," Dad ignored Kit.

Jake turned towards his older brother, and for the first time since he'd been home, looked him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry-" Jake began, feeling horrible and sounding regretful.

Kit cut him off too. Turning to their father, he spoke.

"Dad, it wasn't Baby Bear's fault. I was provoking him. I promise."

Dad looked at Kit and shook his head. "You know I know that's not true. Jake needs to control himself."

Jake felt like rolling his eyes. It wasn't like he was a mad man, running around punching everyone. There had been a couple of incidents recently, with him and his friend Darrell throwing a few punches at some boys in Darton, but that had been justified in his opinion.

"I'm sorry," Jake said again, louder this time.

Dad looked at him straight on. "You'd better be. Next time just see what happens, Jacob."

Dad looked at them both before stalking away.

When Kit pulled his hand away from his face, his nose was bloody but not broken.

"I just got mad. I didn't really mean it," said Jake, unable to look his brother in the face.

Kit looked at Witch and then back at Jake. "I know, Jake. You've got good reason to be mad at me. I know I upset you all when I left."

Jake _really_ didn't want to talk about it. But Kit was determined.

"I didn't understand what I wanted, and when I finally figured it out no one supported me. I left and didn't come back home because I was afraid. If I failed doing rodeo, I wouldn't have been able to stand everyone telling me I should have listened to them to begin with."

Jake felt himself slowly looking back at Kit once more. It was strange for someone in this family to let their feelings flow so freely. Maybe Kit was more used to it since he had to give all those interviews.

If Jake were still eight this would have been the moment where he'd have spilled everything. How could you leave me? How could you break all those promises? How could you be gone for so long, with no contact? Why? Why? And Why?

But Jake didn't want to be a baby about it anymore than he already was; after all, the punch and the silent treatment had been enough.

"It must have been the right decision, though. You've been doing great. Everyone in town loves you."

Even to Jake's own ears he sounded bitter.

Kit wiped his nose once more, and leaned down a little to be at Jake's eye level.

"You're still what matters to me, okay? Not the fancy prizes or fans. I'll visit more often."

Jake allowed himself to smile, even though he doubted Kit would be home all that much.

"Yeah," Jake agreed.

Kit smiled. "Now go get Witch and we'll try to tame Her Majesty."

Jake chuckled and smiled and everything almost felt normal again.

He was a foot away when arms grabbed him and held him in a headlock.

"And this is for punching me," Kit said as he relentlessly ruffled Jake's hair and held him tightly even while he struggled.

Even with Kit being injured, he was stronger than Jake. Kit tortured him until Jake let out a laugh, and then he was released.

"There. Now we're good," said Kit.

Jake was still smiling, even as Witch bared her teeth at him.

* * *

AN: Hello again. Thank you to those who read, and to those who reviewed, it really makes me happy. And about Witch - I'm not sure how old she really is, but I know Kit knew about her, so I put her in for the fun of it. Jake probably didn't have her when he was twelve, but you never know.


	3. Chapter 3

HI! Ok. So the first thing I want to make clear (just to be safe), even though it's obvious, is that I don't own the Phantom Stallion series. Some of the dialogue in this chapter is taken directly from the book, or paraphrased, along with the events.

Another thing I want to say is that this chapter was super hard to write. It was difficult to put a story into a story that already exists, but I really tried. I also want to say thank you, thank you, and thank you to everyone who reviewed! They make me happy, and give me encouragement. I know a couple people said they were looking forward to this part of the story, and I hope it's half decent. Also, to Katrina the Unicorn, who mentioned doing Jake's POV of the accident - it didn't fit into this story, but maybe I will try writing that one day.

Lastly, this chapter only covers half of the final book. Once I started writing it, I realized it would be super, super long if I tried to fit everything. So there will be one more chapter.

* * *

Jake's eyes popped open suddenly. He looked around his room, glancing at his brothers as they all sat straight up in their beds and looked to their bedroom door.

The phone was ringing.

Jake looked to his alarm clock. Just after midnight.

No one called this late unless there was an emergency.

They waited in silence, knowing Dad would come and get them if they were needed.

"Luke!" They heard Mom scream from the kitchen.

All of the boys were up out of their beds as if she'd called every one of them. She sounded frantic.

As they got to the main hallway, Dad was walking out from his and Mom's bedroom. He gave them a look that said they better be careful with their words, and then trudged down the stairs in front of them.

Mom was standing next to the phone, although it was hung up, and crying.

"Maxine?" Dad asked, his voice quiet and trying to shield her body from the boys' curious eyes.

"Kit's coming home!"

Everyone in the kitchen froze, various forms of shock on their faces.

Jake suddenly felt dizzy.

"Why?" A chorus of voices rang out.

Mom wiped tears from her face and smiled. "He didn't say. All he said was he's close to home and he'll be here in the early morning."

While Dad made Mom sit down before she fell down, the rest of the family broke out in chaos.

"I'll call off work tomorrow."

"I can put off going to the library."

"We'll have to wait to go to the hay field."

Then Dad, turning to speak mostly to Mom: "I'll go into the mine late tomorrow."

Mom paid his words no attention, instead hopping up and glancing through the cabinets.

"I hope I have enough ingredients to make cinnamon rolls."

Jake stood stoic. He felt like it was all leading up to him declaring he would call River Bend and cancel his plans at Willow Springs. But that just wasn't going to happen.

Mom started speaking a mile a minute, fussing with recipes as she spoke.

"Nate, go upstairs and clear out the spare bedroom for him. Bryan and Adam, go clean the bathrooms. Jake and Quinn – go get a couple rags and start cleaning the living room and sun porch."

They all looked at her, speechless.

When they didn't move, she stopped her movements and waved her hands to usher them away.

"Like you haven't ever cleaned before in your life! Kit hasn't been home in years, I don't want him coming home to a pigsty."

"Mom, there's no way Kit would even notice. It's not like we're savages," Quinn tried to argue, but she waved her hand at them again and turned away.

"But it's midnight! We have stuff to do tomorrow, I need sleep!" Bryan complained.

"Yeah. If Kit says one thing about shiny tabletops, I'll –" Quinn cut off when Dad glared at them all.

They all reluctantly turned to walk out of the kitchen. Jake let his brothers walk ahead of him, instead leaning towards the kitchen door to see what his parents would say when they were all gone.

But all he heard was "Luke, can you go up in the attic and get the rest of the Christmas decorations down? We'll have to put them all up this year."

Jake scowled. They hadn't had anything but a tree and some lights for a couple of years now. Kit says he's coming home and all of the sudden they're important?

"Hey, man, I ain't doin' all this on my own," Quinn shoved a cleaning bottle in Jake's hands and pushed him through the living room door.

Jake cleaned part of the room while Quinn did the other. He would have been happy to just stay quiet and get it over with, but Quinn was determined to talk about Kit.

"Why do you think Kit is suddenly coming home? It's strange. He's never wanted to visit for the holidays before."

Jake didn't answer. He was starting to analyze the situation too much and it was scaring him. Why _was_ Kit suddenly coming home? After all, he was a grown man who had left his birthplace almost ten years earlier. He'd made it clear that he had moved on with his life. The only time he had returned was when he was injured.

Jake paused for a moment when he let that last thought sink in. Kit was probably injured. Coming to that realization did nothing to calm his growing nerves – Kit could only get injured so many times before he would be forced to retire. And then what would he do with his life?

Jake refused to think about it. He didn't want to. No way would Kit be gone from ranching for so many years and then decide to come back for good. Jake let himself focus on Quinn's rambling instead.

"I'm not vacuuming. She didn't say we had to, so I'm not."

Dad slowly shoved the door open and entered the living room. In his hands, he carried two boxes labeled GARLAND and LIGHTS.

"That's probably a good idea though, Quinn," he said. "You might as well do it before your mother wakes you all up at three in the morning when she remembers."

Quinn glared.

Dad started to untangle Christmas lights, and Jake decided it would be a good idea to sneak back into the kitchen and tell Mom he was still going to Willow Springs. At least she would be alone and he wouldn't get interrupted.

"I'm gonna get some paper towels," Jake excused himself.

Mom was measuring out flour.

"Hey, Mom. You know I still have to go to Willow Springs in the morning."

She put the measuring cup down and looked at him, her face blank with surprise.

"What? Jake, I'm sure Brynna can borrow one of the River Bend cowboys for an hour. She'll understand. Your brother's coming home for Christmas!"

Her voice was high pitched, and Jake realized that she was either going to get angry with him or weepy. Jake looked at her, bewildered. She knew that he'd promised Brynna and Sam that he'd help.

"Mom, I promised. And I need this money. Like you said, it's only for an hour or two. It's not like Kit's gonna disappear. I'll still see him when I get home."

Her eyes got slightly glassy, and Jake fidgeted.

"Jake, please. We can all have breakfast together as a family. We haven't had a Christmas with all of us here for years. I just want this to be special."

Jake had run out of things to say. She was so unexpectedly upset that it made him uneasy.

"Maxine, it'll be fine. You said yourself that Kit will be here in the early morning. Brynna won't mind if they're a couple minutes late. He'll eat breakfast and then leave."

Jake looked over his shoulder at Dad, who was standing in the doorway with lights still in his hands.

Mom shook her head and turned away from them. "Fine. But you are definitely not leaving until after breakfast, Jake."

She sounded sterner, and Jake was glad they had avoided the crying. Dad grabbed Jake's arm and pulled him back to the living room.

"She's just surprised, is all. I think she had given up on Kit coming home."

Jake nodded, but he felt just as surprised and emotionally confused as Mom probably was.

"Dad, about Kit . . . isn't Cowboy Christmas sometime this week? Why would he come home instead of goin' there?"

Dad looked at Jake, his face hesitant. "I don't know, son. But that's probably what's got your mother so excited. Him comin' home instead of spending Christmas at the rodeo like he usually does."

Jake just knew, thinking about all those big prizes Kit could win if he were at the rodeo, that something drastic must have happened for Kit to choose to return to Three Ponies this particular Christmas.

When they had all finally convinced Mom that everything looked fine, and they were all in their beds again, Jake let himself think about Kit.

He couldn't get the idea out of his head that Kit's visit wouldn't be brief. He wouldn't give up one of the biggest rodeos of the year just to come home for Christmas – he never had before.

He spent a good part of the night coming up with different scenarios as to why Kit was coming home. All of his speculations were premature; after all, Kit really might have just decided to come home for Christmas.

The beginnings of fear were starting to creep into his thoughts. What if Kit really was going to stay for good? What would that mean for the future of Three Ponies?

What would that mean for Jake, who had finally chosen a college, and planned his life out?

The next morning, his eyes wide awake despite lack of sleep, Jake entered the kitchen and knew immediately that Mom was going to be crazy the entire time Kit was home.

She had clearly been trying to outdo herself.

Plates of dozens of cinnamon rolls, bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes, everything . . . just everything, were sitting on the counter.

Jake glanced at them wearily, figuring this was torture. There was no way Mom would let him have any until they were all sitting at the table, and that wouldn't happen until Kit arrived.

Mom looked at him, her face cheery and flushed from the heat of the kitchen.

"Good morning, sweetheart!"

"Looks good, Mom."

Despite his growing fear, he couldn't deny his mother the compliments. She had done nothing wrong. She hadn't been this excited about something for a long time. Had she even stopped cooking since midnight?

"I'm going to warm up Witch."

Mom gave him a disapproving look. "You are not leaving until Kit gets here. I won't let you. So you can warm her up, but don't you dare leave, even if Sam gets here early."

Jake glanced out the window at her words, and saw that Sam had just arrived. She was looking around the yard, clearly wondering where everyone was. It was probably the first time Jake hadn't been impatiently waiting for her so they could leave.

"She's here now."

"Jake, I'm serious. I'll wring your neck if you aren't here when your brother arrives!"

The door slammed behind him as he made his way outside. Mom didn't have to worry. Jake had a feeling Sam would want to stick around and meet Kit anyway.

"Good morning. It's almost Christmas!"

Jake would have normally teased Sam for stating the obvious, but today he felt words popping out of his mouth, completely out of his control.

"You're just in time to welcome back everybody's hero."

"Huh?"

Jake was ashamed to admit it, but he was glad that she didn't automatically guess it was Kit. Everyone else in his family was already treating Kit like he was a prodigal son. Sam was the one person who, if Jake would actually talk to her, would understand his fears. She had an objective view of the situation: She didn't know Kit. She just knew that Jake was a good rancher and had done everything he could in life to dedicate himself to it.

"Kit's coming home today."

She was just as surprised as everyone else had been. Jake could tell by her face that she was curious and wanted to ask questions, but he wasn't in the mood to talk about Kit anymore.

"You might as well give Singer some time while I work the kinks out of Witch."

Sam left him. Although she wanted to ask questions, Jake knew she would be just as pleased to play with the coydog.

Jake had almost been hoping Witch would be in a foul mood, but she was surprisingly cooperative. He needed to get his bitter feelings out of him before his brother arrived. Snapping at him, or anyone else, wasn't going to make anything better.

No matter how much Jake, or the gusty winds, tried to encourage Witch to misbehave, she just wasn't. Jake watched with contempt as a tree branch flew over their heads and smashed into the windshield of the truck.

Normally, it would have made him a bit angrier, but today he was distracted. Seconds after the branch hit, and he dismounted, a figure appeared.

Gal ran up to stand beside him, barking her head off.

The moment Jake saw his brother, his mind automatically reverted back to boyhood wonderment.

"Kit," he breathed, without even thinking about it.

His brother was like a storybook cowboy.

Kit appeared from the shadows of snow, carrying just a duffle bag and a saddle. Although some details of his childhood with Kit had become blurry as time passed, seeing Kit's smile brought back a flood of memories. Games, birthdays, Christmases, camping – and horses.

Jake's hostile feelings about Kit's arrival momentarily vanished.

The rest of the family came pouring out of the house, all trying to get a better look at the oldest brother.

"Where's your truck?" Bryan asked. Jake silently wondered the same thing.

"Traveling light."

Mom couldn't hold herself together anymore. She went crazy. She cried and then fussed over Kit's cast.

Jake looked at it with disdain. He just _knew_ there would be some type of injury.

"Honey, what happened to your arm?"

"Nothing. Comes with the territory." Jake knew he was lying, and all it did was add to his annoyance.

Jake wanted to say "Hi", or anything, to Kit, but he was retreating into his silence because he felt so uncomfortable. Everyone else greeted him, and before Jake could figure out what to say, Kit was looking straight at him.

"Baby Bear."

Jake had been hoping that Kit would see him and drop the nickname. It was awkward now; he wasn't a baby anymore. Jake _hated_ being called a kid. If Kit had been around more often, he would have known that Jake wasn't a child anymore.

Kit's eyes traveled over him, and Jake wanted so badly to shift or turn away.

Kit laughed, although it was restrained. "Not anymore, I guess. You're tall as me. How'd that happen?"

Jake wasn't usually one for sarcasm unless he was mad at Sam, but he wanted to snap at his brother.

I grew up? It's been five years since I've seen you - of course I'm bigger?

"Witch is lookin' good," said Kit, nodding in her direction.

Jake couldn't have loved Witch more when she flattened her ears and bared her teeth. She seemed to sense Jake's discomfort and decided she disliked Kit.

But Kit was one of the best horsemen Jake had ever known, and with a stern glance and straight face, managed to get even Witch to pretend she'd never snapped at him.

There was a silence, and Jake knew that his family was waiting for him to say something, to greet his brother in some way. But it didn't feel like Kit was his brother. Jake didn't know how to act around him. So much had changed in Jake's life since he'd seen Kit last: puberty, Sam's accident, all of the work he'd done for Wyatt – Kit had missed important years in Jake's life, and now it was almost like they didn't really know each other anymore.

"Where you all going?" Kit asked, nodding his head toward the trailer.

Ignoring everyone else, Jake said, "Willow Springs."

Did Kit remember anything about his home? Did he know where that was, or what it was for that matter? Did he care? Because if he truly did want to return home and run Three Ponies, he would be more attentive than a passerby.

But Kit didn't remember, and his face conveyed that. Jake hoped he didn't say anything childish in front of him. It seemed like every time Jake was around Kit, he reverted back to immature ways: the punch, the angry silent treatment. What would he do this time, especially since Kit might be jeopardizing everything Jake had worked for his whole life?

It felt odd to tell Kit that he was working for a wage to round mustangs up for auction.

Luckily, the conversation turned a different direction.

"You're thinking of Samantha. She's fourteen," Quinn said.

"And she's around here somewhere," said Adam, glancing around.

Jake was glad to have the conversation turn away from him, and knowing exactly where she had been watching him exercise Witch, he looked over and motioned her to come near them.

Her face was already red in embarrassment, and Jake was silently glad that at least he wasn't the only one who felt uncomfortable. She even stalled coming over to see them, and Jake was a bit surprised. He was usually the shy one, not her.

"Can't be," Kit said over and over when he saw her.

Jake glanced away from her when she kept trying to meet his eyes. Jake had seen her do a million fool things in his life, and never once had she considered shutting her mouth. It got her into trouble. But today, she was silent.

All Jake wanted to do was leave. Maybe he could do what he did last time. Maybe he could avoid Kit. And maybe Kit would eventually just leave and Jake wouldn't have to spend his time worrying about the future.

But Mom made him eat breakfast. For the first time in a while, Jake had to be forced to eat his mother's cooking. Kit told as many stories as he could think of while they ate. He described a foreign world.

Everyone was enthralled. They made the kitchen loud as their questions overlapped.

When Jake had eaten enough to satisfy Mom, he glanced at her, clearly meaning to sneak away.

But somehow, although Kit had been the center of attention and excitedly telling his stories, he still managed to notice Jake's single glance at their mother.

Jake wanted to throw his hands up in frustration when Kit looked at her too, as if asking permission.

"I'll ride with Baby Bear, if he don't mind."

Jake had been trying not to be hostile, but his words made him scowl. Kit had been home for ten minutes. He hadn't been home in years, he arrives in the early morning after traveling all night long, is greeted by his adoring family, and he wants to come with Jake, just to watch them round up mustangs?

Jake was ready for Mom to blow. But to Jake's frustration, she didn't. Mom didn't even try to argue with her oldest son. After everything she'd put them all through, after all that grief she gave him about staying for breakfast, she was just going to let Kit go with them without complaint?

"Fine," Jake snapped.

Jake suddenly would have rather been anywhere else. Sam already looked excited and was watching them like they were characters in a TV show. It wasn't that Jake hated his brother. It was just that the entire situation was weird to him; it had been years since they'd seen each other, and Kit returned home with an injury and unknown plans for the future. Jake wasn't used to the emotions he was feeling, and he needed to get away.

But Jake knew he was smiling when Witch proudly walked calmly into the trailer. He swore Witch could read his mind sometimes.

"Easy loader," said Kit, and Jake eased up a bit on his anger. Kit wasn't purposely trying to upset Jake. Kit's words had probably even been meant as a compliment; after all, he knew how temperamental Witch could be.

Within minutes though, with Sam giggling at Kit's joke and his impromptu slumber, Jake was almost back to feeling bitter.

Jake tried to figure out a reason why Kit would want to come with them in the first place, and on top of that, sleep as soon as he got into the truck.

Ranchers didn't particularly like the BLM, and all Jake and Sam would be doing while there was rounding up mustangs for auctions; it wasn't terribly exciting. Kit should be focused on what Adam and Bryan had suggested – riding around the homelands and spending time with the majority of their family.

Sam was getting fussy. She couldn't go long without talking, especially when something she deemed exciting was going on. She probably wanted to ask him a million questions about Kit. But Jake didn't want to talk, especially because he wasn't certain if Kit was actually sleeping or not.

They were almost there when Kit spoke once more.

"Passin' through Alkali, I stopped for a cup of coffee. Sittin' at the counter, I overheard someone sayin' you're the real horseman of the family now –"

Jake barely had time to process his words before he snapped out, "Who said that?"

Really, who would say that? That early in the morning, in a restaurant? More importantly why would they be talking about Jake?

Kit ignored his question.

"Maybe we'll have to get us a couple wild horses, little brother, and see if you can prove it."

Sam turned to look at him, her eyes wide and dramatic.

In that moment, Jake knew this wasn't going to be a normal visit. Kit could have mentioned his overheard conversation in another way; he could have smiled and looked Jake in the eyes. He could have said it when Witch walked right up into the trailer. But instead, Kit had chosen to issue the words almost as a challenge – if Kit truly just wanted to see Jake's skills, he wouldn't have asked Jake to prove them.

Of course, maybe Kit just wanted to have a good time. But instead of hearing it that way, Jake imagined Kit to have asked _"You think you're better than me?"_.

Jake was confused and wanted to ask his brother questions – why was he back, why did he want to go to Willow Springs, and what did his words really mean? But Jake just ignored him instead.

Soon after Kit issued his challenge, they were arriving and he was getting out of the truck. Jake wanted to smile when Sam refused Kit's hand to get out. She'd apparently decided that she didn't approve of Kit's words to Jake.

Jake worked out his feelings while they were rounding up the horses. He would just have to accept it if Kit was challenging him, if Kit really was back for good. Growing up, Kit had been the family's pride and joy. Just like Jake was treasured for being the youngest of the family, Kit was treasured for being the oldest. Three Ponies had rightfully been Kit's. As the firstborn, it was his birthright to have first choice, and he had proven that he was definitely capable of running a ranch. Kit was really good at it. But then, he'd chosen to go off. A completely different path, one in which his family hadn't supported. Jake knew without a doubt that Mom would do anything to get Kit to come home – and if Kit had come home and decided he needed to stop doing rodeos and settle down on a ranch, who was to say that his parents wouldn't give him Three Ponies?

Then there was Jake. He had always been the underdog. He always got the crappy chores and had always been the one to wait to learn ranching while the rest of his brothers were already old enough. He had finally, _finally_, proved himself. But with Kit here, with everyone coddling him and hero-worshipping him, did Jake's hard work even matter anymore?

Jake made it his goal to prove to Kit that _he_ was the one who had been at Three Ponies all these years, caring about the ranch. He wanted to prove that he was capable and wanted to take it over.

It wasn't until after they were finished rounding up the mustangs, and Sam had walked away from them, that they finally spoke.

"How long you been doing this?" Kit asked. Jake faked interest in the mustang in front of him.

"Never really done this before. But I've helped Brynna if she asked."

Kit didn't reply. They walked around the corral slowly.

"Don't know who they were. But they were talkin' about some horse work you did for Wyatt."

Kit returned to the earlier conversation easily, as though it had never left his mind.

Jake wasn't one to be openly proud of his accomplishments.

He shrugged. "We take horses, break them, sell them for a profit and split it. "

"When'd he marry Brynna?"

Jake looked to where her office was, as though she'd come out and help move the conversation along.

"About a year ago."

Kit suddenly changed topics once more.

"You two get along good now?" Kit nodded towards Ace, but Jake knew he was referring to Sam.

Jake shrugged again. "As well as we can."

"She's pretty."

Jake glanced at Kit from the corners of his eyes.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Heard there was a bad accident a couple years ago."

Jake turned towards his brother fully now, his face bewildered and angry.

His only words were, "What's the point of all of this?"

Kit smiled a little and motioned towards the truck when he saw Sam walking outside again.

As they walked towards the blue vehicle, Kit leaned in closer to him and whispered: "I know Jake's still in there somewhere, but it doesn't seem like he wants to be seen. You need to loosen up, Baby Bear. I missed you."

Kit walked ahead of him, not letting his brother reply, and Jake fumed. Yeah right, he missed him. He hadn't tried all that hard to see him. If Kit wanted his brother to loosen up, he needed to stop purposely trying to make him angry.

The ride home didn't get any better. Kit wanted to see mustangs.

"Don't suppose you know where you could scare one up on such short notice?"

Jake didn't know if Kit was testing his knowledge or not, but he wanted to prove that he knew the range better than anyone.

Then, after seeing the Phantom prance for Sam, Kit told his ridiculous Sitting Bull story.

Jake hated people who only talked to get attention, and Kit was definitely getting attention from Sam. She almost cried at his words.

Jake, who had never been one for teenage hissy fits, knew he was seconds away from having one.

After dropping Sam off, the ride to Three Ponies was completely silent. Kit must have figured out just how moody Jake was.

When they got back to the ranch yard, Adam, Bryan, and Quinn were clearly getting ready to ride out.

"You got back just in time!" Bryan yelled. "Grab a horse, come with us!"

Kit winced as he hit his arm off the truck door as he was climbing out. Jake was examining the windshield again, figuring that Dad would probably make him pay for it.

Kit nodded to his brothers in agreement. Turning to Jake, he inclined his head to the trailer.

"You think Witch is up to it?"

Jake froze. Looking at his brother in surprise, he found himself speechless. Did his answer really matter? The roundup hadn't taken too long or exerted Witch too much, but Jake was still reluctant to say yes.

"I guess."

Kit patted Jake on the back in thanks as he walked past him.

"I'll use my own saddle. I won't overwork her. Better go along with those idiots or else, right?" Kit smiled.

Jake didn't. He didn't like the idea of Kit's prized saddle on his horse.

"Yep," was all he said.

He watched as Kit unloaded Witch and ran his hands over her. He watched as Kit went back inside, walked back out, and put his saddle on Witch.

When his brothers were gone, Jake made his way into the barn. He picked up Singer quickly, before he got angry and started punching the wall.

It was almost like nothing had changed. Even though Jake wanted nothing more than to be by himself, had his brothers even considered inviting him along? Jake knew he was being silly, but he was so emotionally confused that everything suddenly felt like a threat.

He would just have to hope that Kit wasn't planning on staying. But things didn't look good. Kit, who usually could not stop talking about the rodeo, had not mentioned any future plans. He had even hinted that adopting a mustang would only give his family two more mouths to feed.

With a sigh, Jake sat down on the floor and let Singer lick his face.

What were Kit's plans?

He would just have to wait and see.

* * *

AN: Next chapter, Kit will give his interview, Jake will go on his mental tangent, and there will probably be a serious conversation between the two brothers about the future of Three Ponies. I'll try to update soon, but if I don't, it's because I've gone on a mental tangent of my own trying to figure Jake out. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Wow. Ok. Once more, I want to make clear that there is direct quoting from the last book, or paraphrasing, and I own nothing.

On that note, I want to say that I kind of can't believe this is finished. Jake is definitely a complicated person. Also, I tried very hard not to make him sound whiny, or to rush this chapter. But it was like 13 pages, and I didn't want to rehash every single detail of the final book because that's nothing new. If I did end up rushing it, I'm sorry.

I hope you enjoy it. :)

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"What?" Jake snapped, turning around and glaring at Quinn.

He'd been following Jake around for the past ten minutes, giving him hesitant glances.

Quinn made a calming motion with his hands, and grabbing Jake's arm, pulled him into the barn.

"Quinn, I'm not in a good mood. And we have work to do, let's –"

Quinn cut him off. "Kit's not going back."

Jake stopped, a shock going through his body. He stared at Quinn, who didn't look concerned about what he had said. He just looked a little disappointed, for reasons Jake couldn't perceive.

"I heard him telling Mom and Dad that a bronc rolled on his roping wrist and crushed eight bones to dust. He can't compete anymore."

Jake's eyes became unfocused, and he turned away from Quinn without even saying a word.

"Hey, Jake –" Quinn whispered loudly, reaching out to stop him. But Jake shrugged him off and walked back out of the barn.

It was cold outside, but Jake needed a place to be alone. He figured that Quinn would probably tell everyone that he was acting weird. After all, why would this news upset him so much? No one would understand.

Jake, for lack of better places, went to sit in the truck. With a trembling sigh, he restrained himself from losing control. Quinn's words terrified him. They brought out a feeling that he had never wanted to feel – the feeling of one of his worst fears becoming reality. Even though Jake knew that Kit staying was a possibility, hearing the exact words was like opening a fresh wound and pouring salt in it.

_A bronc rolled on his roping wrist and crushed eight bones to dust. He can't compete anymore._

Just the other day, when Mom made all the brothers decorate the Christmas tree with old ornaments, Jake had almost thought everything would be okay. They all laughed and there was no tension in the air. Being in that room, hanging up ornaments they had once made, and looking around at pictures from over the years, memories resurfaced that Jake hadn't thought about for years.

Now that he was back, it had Jake wondering if Kit had ever really been as great as he'd always thought. Sometimes it seemed like Kit was purposely trying to goad him; he would show off, tell his stories, or issue his 'challenges' almost daily.

For the past couple of days, Jake still hadn't been happy with his brother, but he'd started to feel better about the situation. Kit began to talk about the rodeo more frequently than when he'd first arrived. Jake could still hear how much Kit loved it but the way he spoke about it.

But Quinn's words had crushed his hope. He wanted to just ask Kit what his plans were. But Jake wasn't entirely sure if Kit knew what he wanted to do yet. Jake was also embarrassed to ask. It almost seemed childish to him; the little brother getting defensive over something that might not even be his anymore.

Jake was brought out of his mild panic attack when he saw Mom rushing out of the house toward her car. She had been hurrying home from school every day since Kit got back, to decorate, bake, and spend time with him.

She gave Jake a weird look as she grabbed a bag out of her car.

"Are you going somewhere?" She yelled.

Jake shook his head and got out.

Mom waited a second to see if he would offer explanation, and when he didn't, she started talking again.

"Samantha will be over shortly. She's going to interview Kit for the newspaper!"

Jake had to look away from his Mom's happy face. It was hard to be the only person in the family that wasn't happy. In fact, Jake was miserable.

"She – she's asking him questions about rodeo?"

Mom looked surprised at his sudden anger.

"Yes. What else would she ask him about? Hardly anyone from that high school has ever done something with their life like Kit. Everyone's interested in hearing his story."

Jake nodded, even though he was becoming angrier by the second.

"I'm going to finish helping Nate and Quinn with the chores."

He walked away before he could either upset Mom or make her mad too.

When he got back to the barn, Quinn was telling Nate what he'd just told Jake.

"Why didn't he just tell all of us? What's he gonna do now?" Nate asked.

Jake ignored them and started feeding the horses.

Sam had picked a bad day to decide to interview Kit. The day he finds out Kit really can't go back, Sam joins in on his fan group. To Jake's teenage mind, the interview itself also annoyed him. Kit will probably pretend like he's going back to the rodeo. He'll lie and hang on to what admiration people will give him for his accomplishments while he still can.

Jake wanted more than anything for someone to just push him, fight with him, and challenge him - anything. He wanted to have justification for the way he was feeling. Jake _wanted_ Kit to just admit that he was coming back. He was tired of worrying, and Jake knew that the minute he knew his life plan of running Three Ponies was gone, he could move on with his life and figure something else out.

But his family was torturing him. Kit was purposely being silent over the entire situation, and his family wasn't much better. They knew Jake's plans. They knew how much he'd worked for it – he was even going to college to better himself for the position. And yet none of them were concerned or had even thought of the problems it might cause for him if Kit stayed – instead, they were giving all their attention to Kit.

By the time he saw Sam riding into the ranch yard with Ace, Jake was slightly more composed. His feelings were like the calm before a storm. Any little push would send them into a whirlwind and he wasn't sure what he'd end up doing.

"Don't be surprised if it looks like the North Pole in there."

The decorations were borderline ridiculous. Mom had spent hours hanging bows, garland, lights, and candy canes. It almost looked like a Christmas store.

"You go on into Santa's workshop and do your _interview_."

Sam looked at him weird. Jake knew he'd regret insulting her later, but for now, her look of hurt almost made him feel better.

Jake led Ace into the barn, and then walked back out when he heard Nate yell in frustration.

His brother was on the ground, grumbling as Digger jogged away.

"Don't know what his problem is," he said as he got up.

Jake and Nate got Digger back in his place, and shuffled towards the house. Even though he should have been used to it, he still squinted when he entered the house; all of the decorations were just so flashy.

Kit gave Nate advice that none of them really needed, and so Jake focused on the cookies Mom had lying on the counter.

"Smells good, Mom."

Jake found himself staring at Kit's arm, studying it with new light now that he knew what exactly lay underneath that cast. _Eight bones crushed to dust._

He reached for a cookie. Mom pulled the plate away from his hands, not even seeing him, and handed it to Kit.

Jake knew there were plenty of cookies still lying around, and Mom hadn't purposely snapped it out of his reach, but it still felt like a slap in the face.

"You comin', Baby Bear?" Kit asked. How nice of him to invite Jake to listen to his interview.

Jake shook his head. He didn't think he could listen without going crazy.

When Kit and Sam were gone, Nate grumbled over which cookies to eat, and Mom alternated between wrapping them up and putting more in the oven.

Jake sat in silence, wondering how his day could get worse.

Mom put the last batch of cookies in the oven, and looked at her two sons nervously.

"Do you think Sam would mind if we listened in?"

It didn't really matter what Jake had to say about it. They all were sitting in the living room, listening to Kit's rodeo tales (_again_), within minutes.

Everyone was enraptured once more. Sam sat with her notebook in her lap, not really taking notes. Even Mom refrained from asking any questions and interrupting Kit.

Jake listened.

"Well, Samantha, I've been pretty fortunate."

"After this heals, I see myself back at the chutes, helping Pani tie on his riggin', havin' him give me a high five, even after I beat him out in the arena."

"You kinda make your own neighborhood, then you haul it around with you from state to state, rodeo to rodeo, like a snail with its shell."

"You just gotta take it as it comes."

Jake shifted. How could anyone buy this crap? Jake knew for certain that Kit was lying about being out in the chutes with his friend.

Jake wondered if Kit had always been like this, and he had just never realized it. Had Kit always told ridiculous stories and talked with a slow drawl to gain attention? Had he always lied?

"I'm proud of you," Mom said.

There it was. The words Kit had probably been waiting for this entire time. Jake felt childish to feel bitter about them; after all, Kit's accomplishments were noteworthy.

Sam shook Kit's hand and said her goodbyes.

Jake's blood was boiling, and he needed to get out of the room. When he saw Sam giving him side looks, he took his opportunity. He could hear the short, choppy steps of his own boots as raced after her.

"I forgot how much I hate it when he plays people."

Hateful words that he'd been dying to let out suddenly exploded from him.

"What?"

Her confusion made it better. With his words of anger, he would get anger right back from her. If he talked to her in a civilized manner, he'd only get sympathy. Jake didn't want sympathy. He just wanted someone to understand.

"Reeling folks in, like he did just now. Like he did tellin' you about Sitting Bull."

Sam looked incredulous.

"You can do the same thing. When you told me about the three Indian ponies your ranch is named for and the star shower –"

"I don't use that smile to make people go gooey-eyed."

Jake's anger intensified when he saw the look on her face. She clearly wanted to roll her eyes at him and leave.

"You guys will work it out." Maybe she didn't understand Jake's worry after all.

She paused.

"Jake, that's real smile." Why? Why was she doing this? She was supposed to get mad at him and then figure out why he was mad in the first place, and then talk it out with him. Instead, she stood up for Kit. She didn't even know him.

"And you'd know that, better 'n me, after spending _how_ much time with him?"

Sam knew Jake and she should have realized what was happening. She should be taking his side right now, when he felt like he needed it the most. Out of everyone he cared about, she was the last one who hadn't completely doted over Kit – and now she was.

"Don't point your finger at me."

"Hold your voice down."

Jake knew his 'adult' side that Sam hated was coming out. But he couldn't help it. She just wasn't listening like she should have been. Jake couldn't bring himself to tell her what was really wrong – if she would just stop defending Kit, maybe she would see sense.

"What did he have to gain?" She practically shouted.

"This – you standing up for him."

"A twentysomething-year-old man doesn't care if a high school sophomore takes his side against his brother!"

Her words made him feel stupid. This whole thing was stupid. Jake took a deep breath. He saw Sam look at him hesitantly; he thought she might have figured out what was really happening for just a second.

But Mom opened the door and called them inside.

Sam gave him a pitying look, and Jake knew that he wasn't going to find help or comfort from her.

Even Linc Slocum's arrest wasn't enough to distract Jake from his problems. It distracted his family though, and so Jake was able to go to his room without anyone talking to him.

Thinking logically, Jake knew he was overreacting. He knew that no one else saw this as a big deal – but that's just what the problem was. This was his whole life. He'd spent years planning for this, and just when he finally almost got it, Kit comes home and everything is at risk. Everyone else was just laughing with Kit, and going along with coddling him, and smiling those ridiculous smiles when Kit told his stories.

It was a horrible feeling to have no one in your life understand why you're falling apart. Mom had always known when Jake was upset. Even Dad had always known. At one point Kit had always known – and Jake suspected Kit did know why Jake was upset right now, but all he was doing was trying to make it worse for some reason.

Sam had to know Kit was bothering him, especially because he'd pretty much just told her that he hated his brother at the moment. They'd been friends for most of their lives; Jake would do anything to make sure her heart wasn't broken. If this were happening to her, he'd stand right by her side – he definitely wouldn't stand in front of her and tell her she was wrong and a practical stranger was in the right. He'd spent years putting up with her schemes, most of which he didn't agree with. Couldn't she have just stood by him too?

Jake felt tempted to set up the Shoshone meditation technique Dad had told him about when he'd been worried about Star and the race. But Jake honestly didn't think he could analyze the situation any more than he already had. There would be no peace for him unless Kit left.

He fell into a restless sleep.

The next day, he was glad to go to school. It would give him a distraction. Everyone would probably be talking about Slocum or their plans for Christmas.

He was right. Jake hardly thought of his troubles. He focused on taking a couple of last minute quizzes before Christmas break and laughing with his friends.

At the end of the day, when he walked back to his truck, Jake was almost his normal self.

He felt a snowball hit him directly in the back. Smiling and forming his own snowball, he turned around ready to have a playful fight with one of his buddies.

Instead, Sam was standing there.

"Hey, all I want's a friendly little snowball fight!" She yelled.

But something about her face, and that smile that she wore, made him uneasy again. He thought about her pitying looks last night, about her shoving her finger in his face, telling him that Kit was a great guy.

She opened her arms out wide, giving him a chance to hit her right in the chest. Unfortunately, that's exactly what Jake intended to do.

"Your friend ain't here no more."

He moved robotically into his truck and drove away. He didn't look at her face. He didn't want to. Her silence told him enough.

In that moment, Jake should have felt horrible. But he didn't. It must have been cathartic to him to let loose and hurt someone like he was hurting. As far as he was concerned, he voiced the words she'd practically said by her actions last night. She hadn't been his friend.

As the days dragged on after that though, Jake realized his words to Sam hadn't been appropriate. After spending years trying to protect her, in the end it had been him that hurt her.

Jake also found that his words hadn't made anything better. His family was still ignorant to his suffering, and Kit was still in all his glory.

A couple of days before Christmas, Jake finally decided that he needed to sit down and face the facts. He needed to stop acting like the teenager he didn't want to be, and start acting like the adult he thought he was.

Jake locked the door to the sun porch and sat out four sticks in a square, facing each direction - north, east, south, and west – and sat in the middle.

He shivered at first, because it was a little chilly. After a couple of minutes though, he felt his heart rate lowering and his face relaxing. His forehead ached, which made him realize he'd probably been scrunching it up with all his worrying.

There was something about opening yourself up to your most vulnerable thoughts, the thoughts you feared the most, and forcing yourself to face them, that felt liberating. Jake forced himself to relax. He forced himself to not panic as he thought of the worst possible scenarios.

Kit could decide to run Three Ponies. His parents could let him. Jake would have to find something else to do with his life.

That wouldn't be as horrible as he'd been acting like it was, would it? Jake was good at other things; he could run faster than most in the state, and he could track better than the majority. He could find a job somewhere else. He could go to college for something different.

He would just have to give up his dream.

And that, really, was what made Jake so mad. Kit had lived his dream – he'd gone off against everyone's wishes, and been successful enough that eventually, everyone back home started praising him for it. Kit had gotten everything he wanted. And now that he had, and it was over, he was coming back. He was coming back, and in the process destroying Jake's dream. And no one even cared.

It wasn't fair.

By forcing himself to think of the worst-case scenario, without letting himself get angry over it, it made Jake accept the inevitable. Life was going to go on regardless of Kit's decision.

_You just gotta take it as it comes._

Kit's words, which at the time had annoyed Jake, suddenly made perfect sense to him.

Jake decided that no matter what happened, he needed to act the like cowboy he was. Cowboys didn't throw temper tantrums the way he had been. No wonder his family had ignored him. You didn't encourage a horse when it was acting out.

Jake grabbed the sticks as he got up. He felt like a weight had been lifted off of him. He could breathe again.

When the phone rang an hour later, he gained the opportunity to make right the last of his wrongs.

"Jake?"

Her voice was scared. But she sounded relieved to hear him. She didn't sound mad, or cold. She sounded like his best friend.

"What's wrong?"

"Brynna's in labor and it's just the two of us here."

A day later, Jake felt like he'd had the most challenging 24 hours of his life. They'd fought to get to River Bend in the cold snow, and then he'd seen a newborn baby, which he'd never witnessed before. And then, just to test his heart, Sam had almost gotten buried under tons of snow and had to climb up a cliff to save herself.

But just as important, he'd gotten to say the words he needed to say.

"I'm sorry."

Sam had acted like he was being ridiculous, but he knew the words meant a lot to her.

It had felt good to finally be able to put his worries into words as he explained to her why he'd been on a downward spiral. She'd listened, and just as he'd expected, told him his actions were awful, as she had before.

It made him realize that she _had_ been trying to help him the entire time – that _he_ was the one who had needed to see sense the entire time, and she'd only been trying to tell him that.

It wasn't like anyone in his family was deliberately trying to ruin his life. Life was just happening, and when it seemed like it wasn't going in Jake's favor, he'd thrown a colossal fit.

When Jake and Mom were finally able to return home, he spent most of his day sleeping. He was both physically and emotionally exhausted.

He woke up to an almost empty house. Mom was sitting in the kitchen, trying to grade book reports.

"What's going on?"

Mom looked up and sighed heavily.

"Your father and brothers went to help the Sheriff clean up the roads and answer any distress calls."

Jake looked out the window incredulously.

"And no one woke me?"

Mom gave him a stern look. "Jacob, you've been out there long enough already. They have it covered, don't worry."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Did they feed the horses for the night?"

Mom shook her head. "No, but Kit is out there right now, I think."

Jake bundled back up and followed the path someone had dug in the snow that lead straight to the barn.

Gal and Singer were in the barn, huddled next to each other. Jake patted them both.

He heard the sound of Kit forking straw into a stall.

"You need help?" Jake asked.

Kit looked up, and when he smiled, Jake smiled back genuinely.

"Nah. Almost finished."

Jake turned away and walked up and down the barn, peaking in the stalls to make sure everything was in order.

"You feel useless too?" Kit asked.

Jake nodded. "They could have woken me up."

Kit snorted. "I _was_ awake. They just wouldn't let me go."

There was a pause. The silence, for once, wasn't tense or awkward.

"Heard they named him Cody. Mom was thrilled that she got to help, wasn't she?"

Jake smiled, remembering how happy Mom had been to talk about diapers and babies again. She probably missed it a little, since all of her boys were grown.

"Yeah. You think she misses it?"

Kit laughed. "You kiddin'? She had to put up with six of us."

This time, when they retreated into silence, it was awkward for Jake. He felt like he needed to apologize to Kit, but he didn't know exactly how much of his tangent Kit knew about.

"Talked to one of my friends today."

Kit abruptly spoke. He pushed his hat down further over his eyes and refused to look at Jake.

"He has a ranch down in Hawaii. I'm gonna be his foreman."

Jake blinked in surprise. He tried to think of something to say.

"Hawaii?"

Kit chuckled. "New territory. Never been there. I'm the wandering type, you know?

Jake did know, but Kit's words were so unbelievable that he was speechless.

"Suppose you heard about my arm?" Kit asked.

Jake nodded. Kit was really leaving again . . .

Kit let silence settle between them once more before letting out a big sigh.

"I was gonna stay. I know you were a little upset about it."

Jake blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. He opened his mouth to apologize.

Kit wasn't one for apologies though. He held his hand up to stop Jake.

"I was gonna stay," Kit repeated, "but I'm not needed here. Pani needs me. You've got this, Baby Bear."

Jake's heart was beating fast. After a couple moments, he was able to form coherent sentences.

"It wasn't you that I was upset with," Jake said. Kit raised his eyebrows and gave Jake a look.

Jake chuckled. "Okay, maybe it was. But the point of it all was more of what you'd be taking away from me if you stayed. I've never wanted to do anything else but this."

Kit nodded. "I know. It wouldn't have been fair to you. But don't worry about it, Jake. I'm definitely going."

Jake felt like a child again at Kit's words. The entire time his brother had been home, he'd either avoided him or glared at him. He hadn't spent any genuine time with him like the rest of the family. Now that Jake wasn't concentrating on trying to hate his brother, he would miss him.

"You probably won't be able to visit much, huh?" Jake asked.

Kit kicked a stall door lightly with the toe of his boot and shrugged. "Probably not. Hawaii's pretty far away."

Jake was talking before he could stop himself. "You can stay. If it's what you really want, it's okay. We can figure something out."

Kit smiled and put his hand on Jake's shoulder.

"I really can't stay. But your words mean the world, Baby Bear."

When they went back inside, smiling and joking, Mom looked at them weirdly and Jake knew she'd probably have questions later.

When the whole family finally got home, they all sat down for dinner. For the first time since Kit arrived, Jake was able to join in on their laughter and he actually didn't even mind at all if Kit happened to bring up the rodeo, or a story to go along with it.

Jake's entire life was falling together instead of falling apart now. Although he was still unsure himself of exactly what he'd meant by grabbing Sam's hand at the bonfire, he definitely didn't feel bad about it.

His peaceful feelings were unchanged until the day Kit, out of the blue, announced his departure.

Mom begged him to stay a little longer, but he refused.

Dad would drive him to the airport, where he would take a one-way trip to his new home in Hawaii.

Just like when he'd arrived, all the brothers patted him on the back and hugged him.

Jake stood behind them all, feeling once again overwhelmed by conflicting feelings.

Kit gave him a tired smile when he saw Jake standing there stoically once more.

"Baby Bear."

Jake looked up into his brother's aged face. It held no judgment, or hate, or regret.

And when Jake smiled back at him, he knew his face didn't either.

* * *

AN: I want to give one last thank you to everyone. Your words have been so kind. So, THANK YOU! :)

~AutumnBelle


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